Laughter-loving Leader Gifts

You know what I like about our meetings? There's always more finger pulling than pointing.

"Amanda!! Pay attention!...You're drifting out of formation again!!!"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"I love this work-from-home concept. Now I can fire someone without going to the office."

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

Hip Operation

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

President of rubber band company shooting rubber band at employee.

Tragedy and Material

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"Mildred, who haven't I fired yet?

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

Wheels for all purposes.

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

"I think I'd be better at leading if I could yell louder."

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

Learn to Laugh at Yourself

"Maybe yes. Maybe no."

'To motivate every single employee is one of the main principles of my management style. Well, if you don't meet the sales targets, you'll get sentenced to death.'

'The head of our script department!'

'Go ahead and take a seat Johnson...no, the other one.'

'It was George's first time on top of the bill.'

"Fred's conversational level speaks volumes. When he's losing an argument, he raises the volume."

Sergeant Bilko.

'I remember when he was with CND.'