Laughter In The Er Pillows

"We're working on it - but first we have to know what to call it!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

Medical Cabinet

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

The New Age Dentist.

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

'Sure your attorney can be in the operating room, during you surgery, but we'll have to give him anesthesia too.'

'For heaven's sake! What kind of a transplant did they give you?'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

"Everytime he sticks his finger down his throat, he tells a joke."

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"

'Nurse Jenny is here to help with your physical therapy.'

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"Your first operation? Mine too!"

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

"Good heavens - Poetry in motion"

Emergency

'I'm afraid you don't have a prognosis...It had to be removed while you were under.'

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

"Multitasking is the goal, Ed, but singletasking would be temporarily acceptable."

'The inflamed hemorrhoid is here to see you, Doctor.'

"And if you'll kindly relax your spinchter I'll be happy to write a prescription for that inflamed prostate."

"They cured me - then again, I don't have as many preexisting conditions."

'I see you've been calling a lot for that pretty night nurse again!'

"My son is failing out of medical school, so to help him get extra credit, I'm allowing him to operate on you."

'You need an ectomy. Hop up here and we'll see what kind.'

"I'll take the bottom bunk."

'Gwen, I feel horrible! I may have to cancel tonight's set. . . The E.R. doctor was so impressed, he let me keep his stethoscope.'

"One of those 'damn' foreigners will be along soon to carry out your prostate examination!"

Wang Ying had a dental appointment at 'toof-hurty'!