Laugh Doctors Pillows

'Gwen, I feel horrible! I may have to cancel tonight's set. . . The E.R. doctor was so impressed, he let me keep his stethoscope.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

Medical Cabinet

It was only Monday...but Dr Davies knew that it was going to be a long...long week...

"You have natural causes.''

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

Your numerous prescriptions really have improved my love life. I'm dating my pharmacist.

Cracked Quacks Strip: Cosmetic surgeon mix up.

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

Precious comedy writers.

"Undress down to your underwear and have a seat. The optometrist will be in shortly."

With a hindsight exam result of 20/40, Harold hoped the new monocle would be less irritating than the last one.

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

"Your first operation? Mine too!"

'Boy, am I getting hungry!'

'The target most GPs are looking for is one that gets rid of QOF targets.'

'Stop complaining - you only get a horse if you're delivering first class mail.'

Operating Room Table Scraps

"Do you have any fresh medical mumbo jumbo?"

"He's on life support. Mostly support."

Acupuncture

'The inflamed hemorrhoid is here to see you, Doctor.'

Doctor tells sick patient: 'The good part, if you're looking to impress, is that it's not a disease, it's a syndrome.'

'Okay, nanobots, our primary mission is to clean out this guy's arteries. But while we're here I can't see any harm in also building him a nice pair of man-breasts...'

"Warning: The following programme may contain intelligent, humorous, factual entertainment..."