Doctor Of Laughs Pillows

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

Vlad the Inhaler

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Cat Scan

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."