Laughing Patient Pillows

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

The New Age Dentist.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

Improvised Dentistry.

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

"It's cooties."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

"He's losing his will to pay!"

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"

"That reminds me, I was going to get my daughter piano lessons!"

"Whoopsy."

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'Very funny!'

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

Acupuncture

"The bad news is you do have a lump the size of a golf ball. The good news is my tests indicate it's just a golf ball."

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

'You can discuss sexual failure with me Mr Harmsworth, I'm trained not to laugh.'

"Hang on a minute Doc, I've got another 8 minutes left...Did you see Eastenders last night?"