Playful Patient Pillows

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

Disorderlies

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

The New Age Dentist.

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

"It's cooties."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"