Fun-loving Patient Pillows

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

The New Age Dentist.

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"I've never felt better in my life."

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

"He's losing his will to pay!"

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

'Very funny!'

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

"Yesss, I've cured many cases of hypochondria with a hypodermic."

"You're in luck. My speciality is symptoms that are just crazy."