Anxious Patient Chuckles Pillows

"That reminds me, I was going to get my daughter piano lessons!"

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

The New Age Dentist.

'Gee, Doc - couldn't you just use a rubber mallet to check my reflexes?'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

IV Bags: Main and Afters

"It's cooties."

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'I had a stomach ache, so I took bicarb of soda and went to bed early. Did I do the right thing?'

"I see there's been an improvement in your athlete's foot."

"He's losing his will to pay!"

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

"Don't be alarmed! The Doctor's chiropractor recommended he work like this!"

'Pick something you can tolerate from this list of side effects and I'll prescribe something appropriate.'

'Apparently the drugs make me hallucinate, not that I've noticed.'

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

Man sitting in hospital bed notices a Goldfish swimming in his Intravenous Bag.

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

'Very funny!'

Dentistry jokes.

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

"Does your tooth still hurt?"

"Tell me if this hurts."

Acupuncture

'Where should I put the dirty bed linen?' 'On the beds.'