Laughing Dentist Pillows

Improvised Dentistry.

We use all the latest painless procedures, so now a visit only hurts at the end when you get the bill.

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'I'm worried: He doesn't have buckteeth...'

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

Dentist Speak - Monologues

"You've been grinding your fangs."

'If you find any loose ones, I have dibs on them for the tooth fairy.'

Dentist Suction

"It's teeth whitening."

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

'Maybe you should stay away from dental humour.'

"Needs ketchup."

'Two cavities, that's not so bad. But I only have three teeth'

'You really should Floss.'

"That's a nasty cavity. That is why it is so important to brush your hair."

"You're not a gift horse, are you?"

'I need you to open wide, Peel.' - 'Ahhh.' - 'Not your mouth, fool! Your wallet.' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Wider!' - 'Argh!'

'What filling do you want?' 'Chocolate.'

Tooth Pulling Cork

Dracula's false teeth

'Get them whitened? It took me $50,000 and five thousand bottles to get them this way.'

'Yes I floss regularly. Once every 6 months when I come here!'

"Be careful what you say, Senator. Putting your foot in your mouth greatly increases the risk of athlete's gum."

Crocodile Flossing

"Be right back... my activity tracker says it's time for me to take a short walk."

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

Emergency room: 'He has a dislocated jaw, because his dentist kept telling him to, 'open wider'!'