Laughing At The Absurd Gifts

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

"Ok Mr. Mosley, before we go, would you fill in these forms and complete the questionnaire - not forgetting to leave feedback regarding your judgement-day experience. . ."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"I need to tinkle."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"I think I've fixed the intercom. Just remember to speak into the ceiling fan when the doorbell rings."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Monster Clown

UFO and snowman

Baseball.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

Magnet at scrapyard

The Bonvoy Age...

The Hypnotato,

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

"Tell me again why we couldn't get an Easter bunny."

A Heated Argument

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

'Man, this elevator goes on forever...'

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'

As Lucanus, a giant bug, awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into Franz Kafka.

'My 'harrumphs' are losing their volume.'

After his 'Activity Weekend' Uncle Reg was a changed man.