Laugh-out-loud Gifts

'Pint of 'Binge' please Guv'nor.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Snowprov

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Two circus clowns see each other dressed for a costume party.

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

Hypnotoon

"Left, right, left, then straight ahead."

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Pie chart of pub conversations

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

"You came up in therapy today."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Child's slipper getting caught in a mousetrap.