Laugh-out-loud Gifts

'Pint of 'Binge' please Guv'nor.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Snowprov

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"This stool shall pass."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

POP goes the weasel, Collin, not ka-boom splat.

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

Two circus clowns see each other dressed for a costume party.

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

"It's good news, Mrs Fenton - Your laughter is no longer infectious!"

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Hypnotoon

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

"Left, right, left, then straight ahead."

'Nana!'

Pie chart of pub conversations

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"You came up in therapy today."