Laugh-loving Scaredy-cats Pillows

'This next bit might hurt just a teenie-weenie bit...'

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

I.T. Fear

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Glendora Hagan got in another load of cats, Elinor honey. Can you take a couple?"

'Vacuums!'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'My Barry hates horror films.'

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Benjamin Franklin Kite Flying

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

'Well, that ties up the inventory of our new neighbours' possessions.'

"Yes... I'd like to cancel my membership to the company fitness program immediately."

"Of course I'm frightened. I just thought you would be bigger."

Dog Show: Most Human Look.

Cat or squash?

'It's true that sensitive documents were destroyed, but only because I needed to sharpen my claws.'

'Yes, Millard, the kids all did -- but the cat is never going to grow up and move out!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Romulus and Remus

Sheep Pranks.

"What the hell was I supposed to do? I've been declawed!"

A man scared of dentists has taped his mouth shut.

A man peeping through keyholes ends up with a keyhole imprint on his face.

101 uses of a dead cat: vehicle bumpers.

"So how's retirement treating ya, Louie?"

Biological Research Lab - Believe me, you don't want to know what happens to trespassers.

"Honestly, Bob, why do you even watch scary movies?"

"Don't mention hair loss."

'The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.'

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