Laugh-loving Scaredy-cats Gifts

'This next bit might hurt just a teenie-weenie bit...'

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

I.T. Fear

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Glendora Hagan got in another load of cats, Elinor honey. Can you take a couple?"

'I hate surprises!'

'Vacuums!'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Every time there was a rift in our relationship, we got a cat."

'My Barry hates horror films.'

EEEEEEEEEEEE-Mail

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Benjamin Franklin Kite Flying

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

'Well, that ties up the inventory of our new neighbours' possessions.'

"Of course I'm frightened. I just thought you would be bigger."

"Yes... I'd like to cancel my membership to the company fitness program immediately."

Dog Show: Most Human Look.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Romulus and Remus

'It's true that sensitive documents were destroyed, but only because I needed to sharpen my claws.'

Sheep Pranks.

Cat or squash?

'Yes, Millard, the kids all did -- but the cat is never going to grow up and move out!'

"What the hell was I supposed to do? I've been declawed!"

A man scared of dentists has taped his mouth shut.

A man peeping through keyholes ends up with a keyhole imprint on his face.

In and Out cat trays.

"So how's retirement treating ya, Louie?"

Biological Research Lab - Believe me, you don't want to know what happens to trespassers.

"Honestly, Bob, why do you even watch scary movies?"

101 uses of a dead cat: vehicle bumpers.

Mail Cat

'The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.'