Latin Teacher Gifts

'I learned how to say 'sod the poor' in Latin.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Campaign for Plain English

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Mea Maxima Cuppa

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'Diver caught scallops - is that a description of what happened or a compound adjective'

'Ever since we invented the past tense, she brings the past up all the time!'

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Carpe pizza"

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."