Late Riser Club Gifts

"Rex hates getting up in the mornings."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

Waking Up With Rooster.

Workaholics anonymous meeting.

"He's never up before eleven."

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

'Gravity wins - again.'

'Actually, you're not having a midlife crises. It's a .723 life crises.'

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

How to injury yourself as an adult

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

"What do you mean you want to slow things down?"

The breakfast of teens.

'I thought that we would grow old gracefully together, but Bruce has to get 'pumping iron' out of his system first.'

Late again.

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

'Murdock oversleeps every day - He's always an accessory AFTER the fact.'

"Flavor? It's 'let me drink my first cup before I stab you in the eyes' flavor."

'Sorry I'm late, I was caught in a hole in the space time continuum.'

'Oh, Ran-dee! Wakey-wakeys! You're doing a triple bypass on Mrs. Pacala at 8:30. Re-mem-ber? Out of bed, Mr. Lazy Bones!'