Late-night Gourmet T-Shirts

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"I hope you don't mind leftovers."

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

Boy baking a cake.

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

Loyd Grossman

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

Mouse shopping after hours

Pizza and Related Searches.

Man eating his meal with his feet.

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

Lunch Broker

Diet Enforcer

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

'We're very on-the-hoof, of the moment kind of people - would it be possible to dine off Styrofoam?'