Late-night Cook T-Shirts

'Don't wait up for me, Dear. I'm taking a wok on the wild side.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

"I finally got that order off Benson last night. He signed it with a chopstick and soya sauce."

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

"Tia Carmen, I think I'm growing up. I ate five slices of cold pizza at 3 in the morning...and I woke up with a stomachache."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'Good evening sir.Just wondering if you'd like to sample Night-Mart's new range of A-positive.'

"Damn it, who ate all the chèvre?"

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

Mouse shopping after hours

Pizza and Related Searches.

'I warned you...I can only cook two dishes: beef stroganoff and cheese cake.'

'That's the last time I have cheese for supper...!'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

Diet Enforcer

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

The Cat that Ate the Canary, 3 a.m.

"Back here in 30 minutes?"

I know you wanted a virgin but it's all I could find at this time on a Friday night.

"It's all set. If your husband tries to get into the fridge after 9pm he'll receive an electrical shock

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

"You can stop holding sir, everyone has gone home."

'The students must be back then.'

"I'm sorry you've got a sudden craving for nachos, Mrs. Hacksburry, but I really don't want to open the store right now!"

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

3 a.m. A knock on the door. It's the police. He feared the worse. Might have to share the last piece of cake.

"Mijo, just do what you always do before you write a paper...it's obviously working!"

The late bird orders a take away.

The Starving Night

11pm chiller cabinet of last resort.