Late Bloomer Humorist Pillows

"You know, Einstein never watched any great television until after he was forty."

Middle-Age Superheroes

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Hardy Annuals

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"I can't help you, Dear. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. "

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

When scientists come out of retirement.

Special Place in Hell...

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

Happy Birthday!

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'