Late Bloomer Humorist Pillows

"You know, Einstein never watched any great television until after he was forty."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

"You run into a window, too?"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"I can't help you, Dear. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. "

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Special Place in Hell...

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"I'll have whatever they're having."

Happy Birthday!

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.