Last-minute Thrill Seekers Gifts

"We're not year-round people, weekend people, or summer people. We're last-ten-days-in-August people."

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

An extreme sports biker as a baby.

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

An explorer sees a sign in the jungle, which reads: 'You wiil be here'.

'I ran as fast as I could, but I still couldn't catch the Gingerbread Man...'

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

Weekend Getaways with Ulrich

"Finally! Summer is here! That means we're one year closer to college!"

"How much for just the ring?"

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

Last-Minute Gifts

'What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?'

Santa refused to go mountain climbing with Snowy ever again.

'And thank you for a lovely evening!'

Budget tattoos.

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

Tunnel of Quickies

Christmas is Around the corner,

"Why can't we just have a normal Thanksgiving?"

'You'll find your numb-bum seats to the left, Sir, Madam.'

"Just a little case of writer's block. Give me a little time, here."

"I need travel insurance...starting yesterday!"

"Better late than never, eh, Herb?"

Emergency Brake

"On the phone you mentioned that you were interested in one of our 'quickie-escape' packages."

"This is the time of year when you really have to stay on your toes about being good."

'You and your discount airlines tickets!'

'Wheee!!!'

Jump for joy. It's Christmas.

"Well, thank goodness that was a soft landing!"

"Don't worry, Susan. We all work better with a deadline."

"It's great to have something we can all do together."

C'mon, admit it - I scared you a little.

Excess Baggage: Our advice? Enjoy your vacation while you can.