Last-minute Learner Gifts

"Dr. Cosgrove will be here in a minute. He's been cramming for this operation."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"Thanks to the Internet, I learned to ride a bike. Since I was bored, I also got my pilot's license."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'Where's the mouse for this thing?'

Welcome to Kindergarten. It's a list of school supplies -- I need pencils, a ruler, crayons and a laptop!

'OK Sheldon - which part of the Unified Field Theory do you not understand?'

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

'Pete plays truant, but keeps up with his lessons!'

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

Modern Studying

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

"Not the 'Princeton Experience' he was expecting."

Santa School.

"I thought that assignment from my school was spam."

'Your father is having a tough time with his online course.'

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'

'I picked up my Latin from watching Roadrunner cartoons.'