Quick Learner Gifts

'Could you please explain algebra within 30 seconds? I can't follow explanations that take longer than a commercial spot on TV.'

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

'I did it all from memory.'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'I finished my homework, and half my college freshman courses.'

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"Thanks to the Internet, I learned to ride a bike. Since I was bored, I also got my pilot's license."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'Where's the mouse for this thing?'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'Wow, that sounds rigorous. What are the prerequisites for living in my mom's basement?'

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

"I don't mind being wrong. That doesn't bother me at all! What bothers me is when other people know I'm wrong."

Modern Studying

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

'Pete plays truant, but keeps up with his lessons!'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'

A teenager is bent double under a globe-shaped school bag.

'I picked up my Latin from watching Roadrunner cartoons.'

Big Man Off Campus

"The operation was a success. Thank goodness for YouTube videos!"

Has A Hole In It Venn Diagram