Las Vegas Fans Gifts

Beaver Las Vegas

"Sorry, Ted. Generally, what happens in the pants stays in the pants."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

Too Much?

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

Lady Liberty Cools Off

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"Ever get the feeling you're in the wrong army?"

"Gregorio, are you sure we're not rushing into things?"

"So, does this mean that what happens in Vegas never should've even happened in the first place?"

"I can't even deal."

Welcome to Las Vegas - Forefront of the great American luck ethic.

Viva Las Vegas.

When they're not flying, they walk around and play classic rock music. The strolling drones!

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

Hail Mary investment fund

'Hey, I'm having a pretty good streak here--how about you guys?'

'They've got $5 tables everywhere here. Where do you feel the luckiest?'