Language Quirks Aficionado T-Shirts

'I dink he boke by doze!' 'ENUNCIATE! 'I THINK he BROKE MY NOSE.'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

"I stand corrected."

Staff Yearbook

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'Do it write the first time.'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

"They're home...the party's over!"

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

Proof Reading

Scouse For Beginners

For Pete's sake, Shirley, stop acting so smug about "getting carded." We were in a library.

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

Spellng Bee

Oxford Lexicon of Excuses for Bad Grammar and Faulty Spelling.

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

"Well that answers that question!"

A tour guide speaks in hieroglyphs,

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

Exclamation Marks Chasing the Question Mark.

'Really? — the 'Carpe Diem'?'

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."

I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means