Language Quirks Aficionado Pillows

'I dink he boke by doze!' 'ENUNCIATE! 'I THINK he BROKE MY NOSE.'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

"I stand corrected."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Staff Yearbook

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'Do it write the first time.'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"They're home...the party's over!"

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

Spellng Bee

Proof Reading

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

Scouse For Beginners

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

"Well that answers that question!"

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

Enoch Powell.

'Really? — the 'Carpe Diem'?'

Exclamation Marks Chasing the Question Mark.

Academic Boogie Down - 'Once you've taught Sanskrit, there is no going back to Caligula.'

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

A tour guide speaks in hieroglyphs,

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

"He spent all morning trying to teach me my own name."