Language Magicians Gifts

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

'How fast can you hype?'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Desert Island BBQ

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

"I can't believe he brought her."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Primitive magician

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Magic Tricks

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

I tried working with Houdini, but he wanted me to escape from a straight-jacket before jumping out of the hat...

Magic Tricks

Juggler and Illusionist

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'