Language Certification Gifts

'I've been doing a home study course. Now I can echo in three languages!'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Backfire

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

What's normal?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

'The Questioner'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"