Language Certification Gifts

'I've been doing a home study course. Now I can echo in three languages!'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Backfire

Punctuation Police

Assault 'n' Vinegar

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

What's normal?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Wok. Don't Wok.

Lesser known greek gods,

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'The Questioner'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"