Landscaping Gifts

'I'm saving up for a hedge.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'I can't cut the grass until I find the lawnmower and I can't find the lawnmower until I cut the grass!'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'That's your idea of weed control?'

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

I can never tell the plants from the weeds! Pull them all up and the ones that grow again are the weeds!

'Wait a minute! Aren't you going to use an anesthetic?'

'We've had complaints about your sensory garden for the blind.'

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'Wait, wait, stop!'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

'Please tell me you didn't pay for that stuff.'

Mixed Ability Brown, Landscape Gardener

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'That plant food really works!'

"Here's my plan. We grow our roots for 30 years until they crack the cement, which dismantles the fence. Then we just push it ove and make a break for it. You in?"

'Dan sculpted the shrubs to look like hunters to keep the deer from eating them.'

"If you ask me, that one's a better deal. It has more safety features."

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

Fences Make Good Neighbors.

Tree to man carrying it, 'plant me there!'

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

'Everything goes with the house exept the lawn. They're taking that with them.'

'You were right - it's shallow rooting but spreading'

Good design can make a garden look larger than it really is.

"I'm greener, yes. But am I happier?"

A Wisconsin Cheesescape

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Greener grass.

'My answering service tells me you called about a job back in July.'