Landscaper Gifts

'I'm saving up for a hedge.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

Sundials showing different timnezones.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Tree collapse...

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

Stupid Tree Surgeon.

'You just put me away last fall with no winterization and not even a thank you and you expect to start right up this spring. Well, we'll see about that!'

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'Wait a minute! Aren't you going to use an anesthetic?'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Is this one a flower or a weed?I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

Weed Wackers

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"Boy, they really let their yard go."

Leaf Blowers: Loudly making yard work someone else's problem since the 1960's.

Neighbors tossing leaves over fence.

'I can't believe people pay for that...'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"How to deal with weeds."

'Sure I said get some bark for the garden, but this is ridiculous!'

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

"Isn't this the season for you to regret not winterizing the lawnmower last fall?"

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

'That plant food really works!'

Poplar trees and not very poplar trees.

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

"I'm greener, yes. But am I happier?"

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

Lawn Mowers - Loud/Louder/Loudest

"If you ask me, that one's a better deal. It has more safety features."

'You were right - it's shallow rooting but spreading'