Landscaper Gifts

'I'm saving up for a hedge.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

Sundials showing different timnezones.

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Tree collapse...

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

Stupid Tree Surgeon.

'You just put me away last fall with no winterization and not even a thank you and you expect to start right up this spring. Well, we'll see about that!'

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'Wait a minute! Aren't you going to use an anesthetic?'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Is this one a flower or a weed?I'm not sure whether to admire it or not."

Weed Wackers

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Neighbors tossing leaves over fence.

"Boy, they really let their yard go."

'I can't believe people pay for that...'

Leaf Blowers: Loudly making yard work someone else's problem since the 1960's.

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Isn't this the season for you to regret not winterizing the lawnmower last fall?"

"How to deal with weeds."

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

'Sure I said get some bark for the garden, but this is ridiculous!'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?' Moles prepare for their assault on a newly mowed lawn

Poplar trees and not very poplar trees.

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

"When I heard they legalized weeds, I wanted to be first on the block to let my lawn go."

'That plant food really works!'

'You were right - it's shallow rooting but spreading'

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials