Land Appraiser T-Shirts

"Things are looking up..."

Motor Tourism

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"I've had you appraised."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"Sold his air rights."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

"The future of resilience is diversity, not monoculture. And I'm not JUST referring to vegetation."

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

Antiques Store with a bin outside with a sign saying 'Not for Sale'.

"Yes, we've been lost before, but never this lost."

Valuation of Heaven

For Sale, just to find the true value.

Some musicians discussing a new land purchase for hunting

"What would you like done with your DNA?"

'Yes, I know you've been calling here for years trying to get a hold of Mr. Shelton, but he isn't in right now. . . he hasn't returned from his first-ever appraisal!'

'Eve, have you ever wondered just how much this property's worth?'

'Just look at it! The lot alone is worth an underwater mortgage.'

Land Sale

"How can we tell if this old movie poster is valuable?"

'The sugar chest is original but the contents are artificial.'

"That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!"

For Sale Not for sale.

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

Highway project