Laid-back Loyalist Pillows

"I was asked to support our national football team. . . by staying at home and cheering the boys on TV."

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?

'Welcome to our first ever... Casual Sunday.'

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

"What are we doing today?"

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

Sundayafternoon Carpenters

Man wearing t-shirt - 'Apathetic but don't care'.

Totally Relaxed Fit Jeans

'Everyone called and canceled for tonight's dinner party? Awesome!'

"'Work' is a magic word around here."

"When you called yourself a playboy...."

"Sloth!"

"Love them rays, Chief."

"I'm a type B personality in a type A large business."

"We're just like one big happy family here."

"I told you I wouldn't forget our anniversary, darling."

'Don't tell me I've forgotten it's Causal Friday..?'

'I think you're our kind of people.'

"Help you look for Elvis? Sorry, I'm a Louis Armstrong fan myself."

While the world's attention has be focused on Vatican city this week, devotions continue in Washington, D.C.

"Whenever they low, I get high."

"Worm, how do you stay so humble and calm?"

"Look on the bright side. If I'm out of work, can't get sacked!"

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

'This is our manager. He prides himself on being very much hands off.'

'When he shifts gears... it's always into park.'

'Let me be the one to tell him he won the Relaxed Manager of the Year Award.'

"The fundamental problem with this company is that it has too much of a laid back attitude."