Laid-back Conversationalist T-Shirts

"Have you heard about the procrastinator's club? I'm thinking about joining it one of these days."

PSA Banter.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

Snow is falling...

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

The Schmoozy Reaper

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

Man types with beer on his computer.

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

'I drink to bring about change.'

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

"What if I tried again with an English accent?"

"Round of golf or a round of drinks?"

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

"I'm starting to realize for you your loafers aren't just a fashion statement but a lifestyle."

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

"What are we doing today?"

"I hate rhetorical questions. Know what I mean?"

"Mother, you were right."

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."