Laid-back Conversationalist Gifts

"Have you heard about the procrastinator's club? I'm thinking about joining it one of these days."

PSA Banter.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Snow is falling...

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

The Schmoozy Reaper

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

Man types with beer on his computer.

"Ain't worth the whiskey!"

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

'I drink to bring about change.'

"You don't have to schedule a follow-up visit. You just come back whenever you want."

"Mother, you were right."

"Round of golf or a round of drinks?"

"What if I tried again with an English accent?"

"I'm starting to realize for you your loafers aren't just a fashion statement but a lifestyle."

"My gut instinct was to say yes. . . but years in social work have shown me how these things end up working out."

'Last night Gary put me in an impossible position.'

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

"What are we doing today?"

"I hate rhetorical questions. Know what I mean?"

"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."

"It's probably bad news if she refers to the second date as 'mission creep.' "