Lactose Sensitivity Advocate Pillows

Lactose Intolerant Goldilocks

The Nihilist Deli.

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Treat me easy this morning.'

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

"Leftovers"

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

"We may go vegan in the cafeteria."

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

"No one is completely abominable."

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

New Milks

"Sorry, red wine makes Ralph gluten intolerant intolerant."

"The gluten is free. The pizza, however, cost $12.95."

"I told you dairy was bad for your diet!"

'I always thought I was lactose intolerant.'

'It's the Night Before Christmas, and I drank lots of eggnog, and all through the house I've been puking.'

"You ever notice that the gluten-free ones have a funny aftertaste?"

'Milk, butter, cheese, ice cream...you have too much lactose tolerance.'

"I'm gluten intolerant."

"Can I help you!!"

"Just don't call me a jackass."

"Most women I meet can't stand me. I've been thinking of having my lactose removed."