Lacrosse Gifts

Lacrossing guards.

Kurt's good. Look at his family. His dad and mom really know how the game is played! They're his personal coach and videographer. As I said

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Native American Indian Lacrosse

"After lunch, we're just going to sit around and watch you guys play lacrosse."

"We're competitive in all the sports the middle class schools can't afford."

Your counselor wants you to concentrate on one sport. Ok. Sports Camp. Which do you like best? Maybe baseball. Great. Or soccer or lacrosse. I'm proud of you, Teddy! You don't care about being the cool sports star! Ok. Then soccer.

What's this for? Screwing up my Lacrosse career. Slam! Are you ok, honey? Tough tryout. I thought they had already chosen the team. They have. Now they're determining the pecking order. Is Teddy's health care paid up?

No big deal, but coach is posting who made varsity today. Yawn! I can wait. Sports. Tap!

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

How did tryouts go? Uh-oh. Teddy must not have made varsity. Worse. The coach couldn't decide. 24 more hours of nerve-wracking anxiety. That's bad. Another day of clouds with a chance of random thunderstorm. Umbrella?

Teddy Tree is trying out for lacrosse. LOL! No way! That spazoid nerd? Hey! No one disses my little brother! Ok. Ok! Sorry! That's my job.

If you drive Teddy to school, you can calm him down about his lacrosse tryout. Will do. Thanks for the pep talk, dad. No problem. Fester School.

Creak! Creep!! Creak!!! Our son's worried about varsity lacrosse tryouts. Relax. Pitter pat. Sigh! Who knew insomnia was contagious?

Your mother and I don't think the weekend lacrosse league is a good idea, Teddy. Why not? Too much driving. But I ride the school bus home from practice all week! Exactly! Our favorite mass transit vehicle! I can't wait to get my license!

So which is it? Baseball or Lacrosse? For baseball, I've gotta get a glove, uniform and shoes, for about $200. For lacrosse, I need gloves, helmet, chest protector, uniform and stick, for $350. Hmm

Why are you encouraging Teddy to play Lacrosse? Baseball is much calmer. Lacrosse totally exhausts him. Exactly! A tired boy is a harmless boy.

Pete Sampras

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Washing Machine Torture

The Off-Season

'Big advantage!!'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

'It's an old badminton injury.'

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

'for what we are about to receive...'

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

'I must be going. Shawn is getting restless.'