Lacrosse Gifts

Lacrossing guards.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Native American Indian Lacrosse

"After lunch, we're just going to sit around and watch you guys play lacrosse."

"We're competitive in all the sports the middle class schools can't afford."

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Washing Machine Torture

The Off-Season

'Big advantage!!'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

'It's an old badminton injury.'

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

'for what we are about to receive...'

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

'I must be going. Shawn is getting restless.'

'Well, I hope you're a people person -- the prisons are very overcrowded.'

'...I was aced, defaced, disgraced and replaced.'

"At least you know where you'll be in twenty-five years."

'It's a thin line between love and contempt of court, your honor.'

'Anyone for doubles?'

'What cloak of invisibility? Just admit that you missed work yesterday.'

"Watch out for his back hand."

"Too bad you didn't wake from uneasy dreams to find yourself transformed into a better pickleball player!"

Tennis

Anyone for tennis?

"Watch out for his chainsaw serve."

"There's no hurry. Want a donut?"

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say. . .

Football Plants