Label Loving Guru T-Shirts

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Let's get organized

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"I see you've security marked your property."

"By labeling it, I control it."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

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Musical genres

THE LANGUAGE OF PROM DRESSES

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'No no no - that skirt is soooo half past four...'

"Baby, with your money and my money, we could really buy places."

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

Media Darling.

"Maybe we should consider changing the name."

Branding Consultant

It bag and no knickers!

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'