Knowledge Gifts

'I wish I had learned more trivia.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'I don't need them. My wife knows everything.'

'Do either of you fancy joining our pub quiz team?'

Before the Internet

Head full of Books.

Man sees vending machine, 'What You Don't Know Won't Hurt You 50 Cents'

Beyond the known and the unknown.

"Teach a man to fish, and he'll know how to fish."

The Tree of Knowledge

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

A learning curve

Infomaniac.

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"You're such a know-it-all, I don't even know what you and I have in common."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Fear/Knowledge

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Eternal Student.

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Bookworm

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."