Knockout Junkie Pillows

'We'd be far better off with a flyweight,'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Spoiler alert."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

A Woman Holds Up a TV Guide.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the up coming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

Boxer's Hair Styles.

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

"The season finale of the world is near."

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

'I think they're still just sizing each other up.'

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

Cheetah in at the start of a race, thinking: 'Why do I have to keep proving myself?'

The Knockout.

Bernard Hinault

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY