Knight Of The Boardroom Gifts

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'I started out as a yes man, but I've evolved into a plucky devil's advocate who always sides with the boss in the end.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'