Knight Of Snacks Pillows

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Trail mix?"

Jewish Geometry

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

Future Wrestler

Breakfast surreal.

"Serves you right...snacking before dinner."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Game Addiction

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

"We're out of empanadas!"

Greedy child

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

'Double cheeseburger, large drink, fries, apple pie, chocolate sundae and an antacid, please.'

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

'But who comforts the comfort food? I'll tell you who: NOBODY.'

You really gorge yourself on sports. THEY score and YOU take a victory lap through the kitchen.!

''Pop'? In my part of the country they're called a 'Soda-Tart'.'

"Fetus?"

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

"Most men have a tankard, but oh no, not you."

'Boy! Did I get some bad news today! I found out french fries is a veg'table!'

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

'Drop the can opener!'