Knight Lore Gifts

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

'Would you mind taking this one? -- I just had a wash and wax.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Knight Golfing

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Joust Sharpener

Swiss army knife

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Who ordered a pizza?"

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Yes, I'm sure. The dragon I saw was quite a bit bigger."

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'The knights are drawing closer'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

Don Quichotte

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'