Knight In Shining Health Pillows

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

Lady of the bath...

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

Swiss army knife

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

underwater knight

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"Yes, I'm sure. The dragon I saw was quite a bit bigger."

"Who ordered a pizza?"

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Beware of the Dragon

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

'All I'm saying is; This maiden I'm here to rescue had better be really good looking!'

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.