Knight In Shining Health Pillows

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Lady of the bath...

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Swiss army knife

underwater knight

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"Who ordered a pizza?"

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

Beware of the Dragon

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

"I see some improvement but you're not out of the woods yet!"