Knife-edge Reader Pillows

Man reading dangerous crime book.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Bront?saurus.'

Mad Hatter's tea party.

"Speed reader...?"

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

Jane Austen

"I dropped my goblet!"

'What are you staring at? . . . Please save me from the English majors.'

Books*. *Batteries not included.

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

Symbolism for Artists

"The butler did it!"

"I requested a specialist in magma, not manga."

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

In hindsight, wearing my watch in the time machine probably wasn't my best idea ever.

What Started the Incident at Roswell

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

Aristophanes

'I agree, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is a boring title for a book about home decorating, but I'm getting some great ideas for the bedroom!'