Knickknacks Gifts

'Oh wow! They're got brown pottery, stained glass sun catchers and cows cut out of plywood!'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"Who's there?" "Who's askin'!?"

'Oh, look, Billy's found a playmate.'

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

Nutcracker in a Tutu

Antiques/Collectible/Bric-A-Brac/Garbage.

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

Napkin Writer

Pulling the Anchor Out

Cat making a jumper while playing with wool.

I just don't think she needs to get a souvenir every time we migrate.

"Turn your head and scream."

'Who knew Junior's investing all that money in twinkies would prove to be a shrewd financial move.'

"Tex encounters the Knick-Knack Indians."

"You get old and somehow hunting and gathering turns into knick-knack collecting."

I can't find the artisanal Pop-Tarts.

'Hello dear, what are you doing home on halloween? Shouldn't you be out on your broomstick?'

Monk and Nut Cracker

'-and then after your fifth we let you keep it!'

The Knick-Knack Shop

Nutcracker Affair

'I'm just doing my job. Don't take it personally.'

'You've been practicing!'

'Hey! Don't you know how to knock?'

"...I'm trisexual - I'll try anything sexual."

Stuff Happened