Kitchen Pillows

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Stand back - while I whip something up

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

"You have arrived at your destination."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'All I wanted was a cup of tea.'

"I'll be the best side dish ever."

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

"I hear the diswasher has been cheating on the coffee pot."

"Oh yeah, well I say you're black!"

Caveman trying to light a gas oven by rubbing a stick into it

'Isn't it wonderful? - every time Dad cooks, he makes smoke signals!'

"Not right this second, but I'm very unhappy with that refrigerator."

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

Toast Coming To Work

'Well, EX-C-U-U-S-E ME!'

Pancakes

'Scared of this, why? I'm no chicken, are you?'

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

"Please stop calling this 'the break room' and no, there's not space for a water cooler."

"It's time to meet your maker."

Salt and Pepper

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

'Boy, am I tired. I was up all night reading the refrigerator.'

'Lucky is our garbage disposal.'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

'How would you like a whirlpool bath?'

'Let's face it Sharon, you only ever use the cooker to light your cigarettes!'

'I want a house with more counter space.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"Well, it's been fun - time to go croak on the windowsill!"

Egg battle.

ABsurd semi-automatic breakfast maker

"Judging by all the dishes, you have forgotten where the kitchen is. So, I programmed this GPS for you."