Kitchen Pillows

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Stand back - while I whip something up

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

"You have arrived at your destination."

'All I wanted was a cup of tea.'

"I'll be the best side dish ever."

Pancakes

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

Salt and Pepper

"It's time to meet your maker."

"Please stop calling this 'the break room' and no, there's not space for a water cooler."

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

'Scared of this, why? I'm no chicken, are you?'

"I hear the diswasher has been cheating on the coffee pot."

Caveman trying to light a gas oven by rubbing a stick into it

"Not right this second, but I'm very unhappy with that refrigerator."

'Well, EX-C-U-U-S-E ME!'

Toast Coming To Work

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

'Isn't it wonderful? - every time Dad cooks, he makes smoke signals!'

"Oh yeah, well I say you're black!"

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

'How would you like a whirlpool bath?'

'Lucky is our garbage disposal.'

'Boy, am I tired. I was up all night reading the refrigerator.'

'Let's face it Sharon, you only ever use the cooker to light your cigarettes!'

Egg battle.

"One item at a time, please."

"Judging by all the dishes, you have forgotten where the kitchen is. So, I programmed this GPS for you."

ABsurd semi-automatic breakfast maker

'I want a house with more counter space.'

"Well, it's been fun - time to go croak on the windowsill!"