Kitchen Design Pillows

'I just love these granite counters.'

'Every traditional country kitchen needs an aga like this... It's perfect for keeping the microwave in.'

'I doubt you will have what I'm looking for, young man - an eye-level grill?'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Swiss Army Stove.

Come dine with me!

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Too much cilantro

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Salt and Pepper

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

The Perfect Foil

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

Cookery Lesson.

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'