Kitchen Appliance Designer Pillows

'Forget toys, Claus - you're being transferred to kitchen appliances.'

Come dine with me!

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

Cook in the cookery section.

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

Cooking

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

I Bake. Deal with it.

"I bought this 'automatic bread maker', and so far it hasn't made any!"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Swiss Army Stove.

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

You missed a spot!

Jim's Smart Kettle

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

The History of Anti-stick

'I wish somebody would invent the TABLE!'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'I don't know if artificial intelligence in a toaster is a good thing. It just seems to make toast whenever it feels like it.'

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

Ship's cook escaping in a saucepan.

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'