Kitchen Inventor Pillows

'Oh, my wife invented that -- it's for mashing potatoes.'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

The Inexperienced Cook

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Cook in the cookery section.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"Fresh pepper?"

'Propane ran out.'

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

Swiss Army Stove.

I Bake. Deal with it.

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"Once he invented the wheel, it was only a matter of time before he came up with the food truck."

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

F&E Diner. Special. Eggloo. Tink tink. The "Eggloo" is a frozen omelet!