Kitchen Life Pillows

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Well, I'm not leaving.

Counting ribs

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

"You're the lid to my pot."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Too much cilantro

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Baker Romance

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

Salt and Pepper

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

The Perfect Foil

Chef copy robot

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"I'm unable to process this image."

Cookie Surveillance

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

Wedding Chefs

Will work for Food Network.

Entertainment systems