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'One of us has got to get out of here and make a dash for the spaceship.'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Your lobster was off!

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

Boy baking a cake.

'I wanted somewhere like England, but in Spain.'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"You have arrived at your destination."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'listen - it's haute cuisine, coming up the river from New Orleans.'

Instead of a cap and gown Mike got a hairnet and spatula.

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

"You were supposed to have invented fire!"

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

Summer holiday activities the whole family will love.

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

Jim Evans - Father, husband and darn good eatin'.

"Ok, who just gave my cooking a 1-star review on Yelp?"

"Dear Diary, Ate linguini for the first time tonight..."