Kitchen Skills Gifts

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"We should settle this in the kitchen."

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

Fry up!

Culinary surgery.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Counting ribs

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Kitchen Kapers

Too much cilantro

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Lockdown casserole

Salt and Pepper

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

The Perfect Foil

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'